You don’t have to be a hair expert to know when you’re looking at a bad head of hair. I am not a hair expert but I’ve played a lot of games and I have seen A LOT of bad hair styles. With the help of the VGLounge team I have put together a list of the Top 10 worst hairstyles in video games. It was hard to narrow this list down to 10 but it had to be done. Behold, the 10 worst heads of hair in video game history.
10 Zell Dincht-Final Fantasy VIII
Zell Dincht is one of the main heroes from Final Fantasy VIII and his hair sucks. He’s a physical hand-to-hand brawler which is horrible for all of the people he fights. Not only do they have to see his stupid, Mike Tyson face tattoo, they have to see his terrible head of hair, up close and personal. The sides are short and laid down, then he has that stupid spire of gelled hair in front. Zell obviously makes bad life decisions, face tattoo, wearing jorts to save the world but his hair is unforgivable.
9 Dr. Wily-Mega Man Series
I feel bad for putting Dr. Wily on this list but his hair is too bad to ignore. Dr. Wily is a victim of one of the most prominent cases of video game male pattern baldness. It’s what Dr. Wily does with his remaining hair that is so upsetting. Dr. Wily lets the sides of hair grow out wildly to the point where is almost resembles bat wings. The top of his head is completely bald, it even reflects light. Dr. Wily needs to let go of his remaining hair and just rock the full bald head, like Sigma.
8 Rufus-Street Fighter 4
Rufus is the most out of shape looking fighter in the Street Fighter series and he also has one of the worst heads of hair in the series. Unlike Dr. Wily, Rufus has purposely style his hair miserably. Rufus’ head is shaved everywhere except the very top. The Rufus has the top grown out and tight into a lumpy rope. It’s not even braided, it’s just tied up in sections throughout the pony tail giving it the appearance of a braid. I won’t talk about his handlebar mustache or his overgrown stomach hair but Rufus is losing in the hair department.
7 Bobby Zilch-Psychonauts
Bobby Zilch is a mean kid in Psychonauts. He’s a quintessential bully. The thing about Bobby is that his appearance is so awful it’s hard to believe that he has the confidence to bully anyone. I don’t know if it’s appropriate to call Bobby Zilch’s hairstyle an Afro but it’s something of the sort. Bobby Zilch sports such a misshapen head of hair that’s so bad that it could almost be a hat.
6 Maxi-Soul Calibur series
Surprisingly, a lot of male video game characters have a bang of some sort. Some guys like hair in their eye but Maxi’s hair has some REAL problems. First of all, let’s talk about those sideburns. Maxi’s sideburns are long, WAY too long. It looks like it was intended to connect to a beard that he forgot to grow out. Then there is Maxi’s bang. It’s not quite a bang in the traditional sense. It’s like a stalactite of hair that does nothing but get in the way of his line of vision.
5 Zack- Dead of Alive series
There are so many versions of terrible Zack hair that I don’t know which one to pick so I’m gonna pick two. Zack’s latest iteration in Dead or Alive 5 has him dressed like a clown. Like a real clown, it’s gross. But to make matters worse, he had an Afro that surpasses Bobby Zilch. It’s red and it doesn’t even look like it’s made of real hair. Zack in his more traditional style has two green tufts of hair on his head and a green pointy beard to go with it. Zack is a fashion disaster but his hair is somehow worse than his outfits.
Bayonetta was a tricky addition to this list. Her hair itself is pretty good. It can transform into giant creatures to destroy monsters it even doubles as clothes. So why in God’s name does Bayonetta decide to style her completely amazing hair into a beehive with ribbons in it? The beehive wasn’t sexy in the 60′s when it was created and it isn’t sexy now. There is only one character who gets a pass on rocking a beehive and she is yellow with blue hair, everyone else should leave it alone.
3 Paul Phoenix-Tekken series
Holy Mother of Tall Hair, the person that designed Paul Phoenix should be fired and never allowed to work again. Paul Phoenix has the mother of all flattops and it is about a foot and a half too tall to be considered acceptable. It must take like a half gallon of gel just to make that much hair stand that tall. Just to make matters worse the hair isn’t just tall, it’s completely cylindrical. He’s obviously given up all interest in wearing hats.
2 Juri-Street Fighter series
Juri’s hair is so bad for so many reasons. Juri’s head of hair is actually a combination of 2 or 3 awful hairstyles. First there are her bangs. The bangs on her face aren’t bad but combined with the middle of her hair, they don’t really make much sense. Just to throw a wrench in your plans of thinking that her hair isn’t that bad look at the top back of her hair. Two terrible twists tied down with hot pink bracelets. For a character that is supposed to be so fearsome she looks like a child who was allowed to choose how she wanted her hair to be styled.
1 Seymour Guado-Final Fantasy X
I don’t think there are any words for how bad Seymour’s hair is. He has the awful Maxi bang, his hair is blue, and it is shaped like the letter M. If you took away the three tentacles from the left, right and front of his hair he wouldn’t be anywhere near this list but you can’t ignore the reality of things. Seymour has the worse hair in video games and I don’t even think it’s a close call.
Of course, there was a host of characters that didn’t make the list that should be not be forgotten so I’ll make sure to have a post of honorable mentions in the near future.